Dating is a horrible, horrible thing but it is necessary evil if your goal is to have a long and happy marriage or at least be in a committed relationship if marriage isn’t your end goal. The following are things all singles should keep in mind when they get antsy about their single status.
- Being married doesn’t drastically change your life. Yes, your last name may change and you will legally be tied to another person but there won’t be many major changes that will mark your new married life. You are just legally tied to this person by a piece of paper. The problems you had before you got married are going to be there once you have a ring on your finger and if anything, marriage will bring a whole new set of problems to deal with.
- The days of having to be married by your mid 20’s is pretty much over. It’s become more and more common to marry later in life so who cares if you’re in 30’s or even 40’s and still haven’t been married yet? Getting married isn’t something that should be rushed into because you’ve reached a certain milestone age. Take your time and you will have a better understanding of what it is you want from a partner rather than speeding things along because you feel you need to be settled down by an arbitrary timeline.
- Two words- IN-LAWS. The old adage of you don’t marry just your spouse, you marry their family is very true. Even if you get along with everyone, you’ll still have to figure out the tricky way of splitting holidays between the two families without hurting anyone’s feelings. There’s a lot of people to consider when you mix the in-laws into your relationship. This will happen even if you don’t marry the person you love so even if you don’t have legal in laws you’re still going to at some point have to deal with them.
- Marriage/Long Term Relationships are hard work. It shouldn’t be impossibly hard but all marriages/relationships take some degree of work in order to be successful for both partners. Looks will fade and things won’t always be rosy. Look more for the person who will fight to keep your relationship during the good and bad times and that you want to fight for as well. Loyalty is far more important than a job title your partner has or if they look like a model.
- Weddings are a pain in the butt to plan. If you’re freaking out that you haven’t had your dream wedding yet, have you considered all of the headaches your dream wedding will have associated with it in the best of circumstances and all of the drama that will go with it in the worst of circumstances? You can bookmark all the pictures of what you want for you dream day but when it comes down to it, a wedding is just a party and your energy would be better spent on doing something more fulfilling than pinning pretty flowers on pinterest every night.
- Divorces are expensive. Even if you have a prenup, you still have to pay for a lawyer and all of the other court costs associated with the divorce plus the other costs like moving to a different place if you have to move and replacing anything that your ex was granted in the decree. Consider the cost to divorce before you consider getting married to someone. If the divorce will cost more than what you have to gain from the marriage, then don’t get married.
- Your freedom will pretty much disappear once you get divorced. Not that you’re going to be spending every second with your spouse but you will not be able to do whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it once you’re married without it causing major problems with your new spouse. This is your chance to live a life free of obligations and being held accountable to anyone at the end of the day.
- This too shall pass. Most people will get married at some point in their life. There is absolutely no point in rushing it and once you have it you will have passing feelings of missing your single life. You most likely won’t be single forever so see this as a temporary status in your hopefully long, long life.
- You were born a whole person. The whole meeting your other half isn’t true since you weren’t born half a person that can only function once your other half comes along. You are a fully formed human being who doesn’t need a spouse or another person to make you complete. You already are complete. A partner should only add to a person’s life not become a person’s life.