It is that special time of year again

The time of prevalent colds and flu

This year, I want you to consider staying home if you’re sick

Everyone will be eternally grateful if you do

 

Some of us have weak immune systems

That cannot get over your gifted cold with ease

If you feel like you are coming down with something

Stay home, if you please

 

You know all those paid vacation/PTO days you have built up

Were designed to be used in situations such as this?

Don’t be like every other American and never use your sick days

Be the brave American who is unafraid to miss

 

No, you will not be missing anything important

No, your presence isn’t actually needed all that much

I’d rather spend my working time working

Rather than disinfecting every single thing you have managed to touch

 

You will not win the martyr award

Causing office illness doesn’t qualify you for any special prize

Get back in your car and drive yourself home

And be sure to put some eye drops in those bloodshot eyes