It is that special time of year again
The time of prevalent colds and flu
This year, I want you to consider staying home if you’re sick
Everyone will be eternally grateful if you do
Some of us have weak immune systems
That cannot get over your gifted cold with ease
If you feel like you are coming down with something
Stay home, if you please
You know all those paid vacation/PTO days you have built up
Were designed to be used in situations such as this?
Don’t be like every other American and never use your sick days
Be the brave American who is unafraid to miss
No, you will not be missing anything important
No, your presence isn’t actually needed all that much
I’d rather spend my working time working
Rather than disinfecting every single thing you have managed to touch
You will not win the martyr award
Causing office illness doesn’t qualify you for any special prize
Get back in your car and drive yourself home
And be sure to put some eye drops in those bloodshot eyes