Dad jokes

A dad joke is one of those lame jokes than your dad tells…over and over and over.  He seems to enjoy the upcoming eye roll and sigh.  Is that what he lives for now?  Embarrassing his kids and wife?  Anyway here are some dad jokes, (I’m not gonna say they are good) the first two are jokes my dad used to tell.  As you get older the stupid jokes your Dad used to tell are some of the best things you remember about him.

1.(Plane flies over)

Dad – “Look! a Mail plane.”

You – “cool”

Dad – “Pretty soon you will see a female plane.”


2.We used to have a neighbor that would help us cut wood on our farm.  He was retired and just helped out for something to do.  He was never paid anything for helping.  My dad would always say when they were finished cutting for the day.  “Your doing such a good job, I’m gonna double your pay.”


3.Kid says “I’m Hungry.”

Dad says “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.”


4.Dad asks “Is that shirt felt?”

Victim: “No.”

(dad feels shirt) then says “Well it is now.”


5. Dad:”Oh look, a flock of cows.”

Victim: “herd of cows.”

Dad: Of course I’ve heard of cows, there is a flock right over there.”


6. Dad: “What side of the Zebra had the most stripes?”

victim: ” I don’t know.”

Dad: “the outside.”


7. Victim: “Yeah I have been riding bikes since I was a kid.”

Dad: :”Wow, your legs must be tired.”


8. Dad: “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school today?”

Victim: “No! Oh my gosh! what happened????”

Dad: “It’s ok he eventually woke up.”

 

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